The Savage Truth: Savage T-Shirts and Shoulder Pads

Do you want to be the most macho of all the macho men who brag, drink and strut their stuff at their favorite bars?

MACON, Georgia – Want to be the most macho of all the macho men who brag, drink and strut their stuff at their favorite bars? How about identifying with the college footballer whose bruised tackle just caused a fumble that was picked up by your team?

If you find yourself in this position, you must identify yourself with the name “Savage”.

For a man who has been a savage his entire life, I find it amusing that the Savage name has become prominent in retail sales and sporting events. It’s become the name that turns wimps into warriors and couch potatoes into all Americans.

I’m not sure if this fad started when the late Randall Mario Poffo took his mother’s advice and used the nickname “Macho Man” Randy Savage to kickstart his professional wrestling career, but I do know that sales retailers mail order, especially those who peddle T-shirts, use the Savage name to fatten their wallets.

One company offers what it calls the Savage Row Tee. It’s a black t-shirt with white letters. The word Savages is at the top, followed by two rows of six two-digit numbers. The word under the numbers if “Line”.

If you are a New York Yankees baseball fan, there is a t-shirt for you. He has a red, white and blue top hat on the front of a gray t-shirt. A red baseball bat runs from the inside of the hat to the bottom of the shirt. The word Savages is written on the t-shirt.

Another of the Savage t-shirts has an unsuitable word for printing. It’s a black shirt with white letters written in cursive. The first letter is the unprintable “F” word, followed by the name Savages.

If you’re a college football fan, you’ve probably heard of the University of Georgia football team. They are nicknamed Bulldogs or Dogs. Around the UGA football nation, dogs are spelled “dawgs”. Some fans claim they don’t know Dawgs isn’t spelled correctly, but they can yell “woof, wow, woof” with the best of them, and they really love to sound that out when one of the defenders de Dawg is doing something very well.

When the defender reaches the sideline, he is anointed with epaulets with protruding spikes. The word Savage and a capital “G” can be found on the back of the block. When Savage pads are put on, Dawg fans recognize their appreciation with some round woof, woof, woof.

There probably isn’t a real Savage born with his name on the team. It is also unlikely that the majority of people who buy Savage t-shirts were born with the Savage name.

But when it comes to t-shirts, I’m seriously considering buying a black one with the unprintable “F” word written in bold across the chest. If the Georgia Dawgs decide to sell these spiked epaulets with Savage written on the back, I would consider buying one as well.

I could show my mood by wearing both the t-shirt and the pads when mowing my lawn.

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